Fall Beginnings: Reclaiming Wholeness
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
As I write this, the leaves are gently falling from the maple tree outside my window. The vital greens of summer are turning bright shades of yellow, orange, red, and brown. As they fall, the tree gives a deep exhale. It’s a release, an unburdening, a lightness. It is a gift of sweet comfort, this blanket of leaves. The energy is shifting. Deep down underground, the roots must survive winter. Leaves provide warmth for the tree’s roots and nutrients as they degrade into the soil. The beauty of fall is a blessing, a last gift before winter. It is also a loss of the ease and aliveness of summer. Like this tree, we are invited to begin a journey into the deep dark corners of our internal world.
“Every autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
I absolutely love autumn. All of the rich colors, smells, and tastes are comforting. With the fall equinox on September 22nd, the “fall” of summer into the dark half of the year has begun. On this day, there is a perfect balance between the dark of night and the light of the day. From here until the winter solstice, we continue to lose the light of the sun and welcome the dark of night. With this darkness, we move closer to winter. To me, the dark half of the year means candlelight, storytelling, dreaming, reflecting, and resting in preparation for the light half of the year. It’s like spelunking into the caves of our psyches. We have the opportunity to retrieve our deep gifts and reclaim our deep pain.
A Journey of Reclaiming
One way to explain this widespread human experience of the change of seasons is through the Greek myth of Persephone. A brief version of the story starts with Demeter, the goddess of fertility and harvest who works hard to keep the land green and people fed with fields full of crops. One day her daughter, Persephone, was stolen by Hades, the God of the Underworld. In Demeter’s grief and depression, she let the land winter over and the people began to starve. While Zeus forced Hades to return Persephone, Hades tricked her into eating pomegranate seeds before she left. She was cursed to return to the underworld during the fall season every year and would return to her mother during the spring.
“Persephone-Kore, often conventionally cast as the victimized, vulnerable daughter who was abducted by Hades with her mother’s permission and forced to remain in the underworld for six months out of every year, can be viewed as a wise underworld guide. In pre-patriarchal versions of her myth, Persephone-Kore is an empowered Maiden who, having been to the depths of hell, now ascends and descends willingly and regularly in order to move in rhythm with the natural world and receive the spirits of the dead.”
Like Persephone, we are being initiated into a journey down to our own personal underworlds during the fall season. During her descent, Persephone is saying goodbye to her mother. Presumably, she is feeling a loss of connection, separate and alone. But, with every great hero’s journey, there is an opportunity for revelation in the unknown. What if deep down in the underworld of winter, Persephone has an opportunity to reclaim connection to parts of herself? And when she journeys back into the light of spring, she brings with her a deeper understanding. When we are rooted in connection with ourselves after our proverbial winters, perhaps we are able to give and receive love more freely in the relationships of our summers.
The Myth of Our Separation from Nature
So, what are these parts of ourselves that need reclaiming? Often times, the parts of ourselves that we feel disconnected from are the parts that hold our greatest pain. Our shadow, if you will. A very common belief that we hold is that we are alone with our pain. That we can’t hold our pain and be love-able at the same time. That we are alone in holding it. When something feels intolerable, we often separate ourselves from it. Sometimes, this is a necessary protection. But, those parts that live in the shadows believe they are alone. They hold the feelings alone. Sometimes, by meeting these shadow parts of ourselves with acceptance and compassion, they won’t feel so alone in their pain and our overall suffering reduces.
“Compassion is our deepest nature. It arises from our interconnection with all things.”
In the same vein, we can have a collective shadow. There are parts of our human nature that society tells us are not valid or important. A very common collective belief is that humans are separate from nature. That we are superior to the natural world. That we are not influenced by the earth. And, that we are not responsible for our impact on non-human beings. The roots of this narrative in human history are deep and winding. As long as we cast out the very real and animal parts of our human experience, we also cast out the gifts of connection to the earth. Reclaiming this collective shadow may look like accepting all of the ways we dominate and subjugate the earth and meeting the part of ourselves that is deeply connected to it. With compassion, we feel the earth’s pain. It is our pain. None of us are alone in our pain.
Ecotherapy & Wholeness
When we move past the myth of human superiority or separateness, we realize that we are never alone in the web of life. Collectively, when we reclaim our indigenous wisdom we remember the wholeness of life. We gain a deep connection to all beings. Individually, when we reclaim internal parts of ourselves, we are opening ourselves up to the wholeness of our being. We gain a deep connection and trust in ourselves. When we relate to our internal lives and the earth as an ecosystem full of interconnectedness, we take responsibility for our actions. For how we treat ourselves. For how we treat each other.
“Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift.”
Ecotherapy and the fall season make a beautiful pair. Ecotherapy gives us the framework to explore our connection to the earth and to let it speak to us. We listen to it deeply for its wisdom. When we do, we often have an embodied experience that challenges some of the core beliefs that keep us feeling separate and fragmented. We have the ability to process our painful feelings in a way that we feel supported and whole. You are welcome to join me for my next outdoor workshop, Embodying Our Cycles Through Nature on Saturday, October 9th from 10-12pm, where we explore the themes of this season.
Fall Season Reflection Prompts
Reflecting on the fall season is also a beautiful way to come into alignment with the cycles of the earth and to begin our journey to reclaim our shadow parts. I wish you courage and compassion for the journey!
What blessings did the summer season bring? What were you working hard to manifest? How has this impacted your external world? How has this impacted your internal world? What are you grateful for going into the fall season?
What do you love about autumn? What do you dislike about it? How do you generally feel this time of year?
Where do you feel balanced right now? Do you feel connected to yourself? To others? To the earth? How could you create more balance in your life?
Where do you notice internal resistance? What keeps you from feeling present? What are you holding on to that is no longer serving you? Where can you let go?
What thought, feeling or sensation is present but hard to experience? Is there a part of you that needs compassionate attention but rarely gets it? What would happen if you sat down with that part of yourself for a cup of tea? What would it say that it needs?